junelle barrett porter, mft
Helping everyday people find a new way
Santa Rosa Therapy

Articles written by Junelle Barrett Porter

How can I tell if I'm depressed … or just sad?

Depression is at epic levels. The Center for Disease Control estimates that in the USA alone more than 16 million people experience symptoms of depression every day. We are all impacted by traumatic events, losses, separations, and disappointments. Such events can cause us to grieve and move differently in the world for a time. As depression sets in, we start shutting down emotionally, stop caring, become numb or despondent, and are left feeling weighed down under a heavy blanket of futility. Why do some people develop depression while others don't? Genetics, hormones, biochemistry, lifestyle and social dynamics are variables that determine this. We want to catch depression early because as it progresses it can result in disease and chronic health issues, suicide, loss in productivity, addiction, and social isolation.

How do we know if we are depressed, or if we are sad? Difficult events are often intense emotional and psychological experiences and it can be confusing to know if we are truly depressed, or sad. Here are some differentials that can help us determine which is which.

Long term/Temporary

Depression is a state that can become chronic. A long duration almost always requires some type of professional intervention. If hopelessness, lack of motivation and changes in appetite or sleep last for over two weeks, please seek professional assistance.

Sadness is generally a temporary experience that we are likely to move through, returning to our usual self.


Depression is a bio-chemical response. Because the neurons in our brains tend to "fire together" they will eventually "wire together." When this occurs, our brain forgets how to have a normal response to events and will repeatedly follow a path to depression.

Sadness, however, is an emotional response to a difficult situation. Over time our own internal coping mechanism will adapt and we will again function as before.


When we are depressed, our response to what is happening may over time become excessive or out of proportion to the actual event. Keep in mind when something really bad happens it is normal to feel really bad, which may include depressive symptoms. If the symptoms last for more than a couple of weeks it is encouraged to seek assistance.

Sadness is a normal response to an upsetting event, loss or transition. Strong emotions may cause us to misunderstand our response to be depression, rather than recognize that our feelings are normal considering what we may be going through.


Depression is a state of being. It affects our thoughts, behavior, motivations and attitudes. We can be depressed even when everything seems to be going well. We can be unmoved in the face of something that would otherwise impassion us.

Again, sadness is a normal response to an upsetting event. When life improves, so does our mood.


Depression, like many chronic conditions will disrupt our lives to some extent. We lose the will to do the things that make us happy and feel engaged in our lives.

When we are sad, we can usually continue to function. Even when the world seems to have significantly tilted on its axis, we still take care of ourselves, our work, and our families.


Like most chronic conditions, depression remains as a persistent underlying state. Levels of depressive intensity can change, but it is generally always there.

Sadness is fluid. It comes when we have reason to be sad and leaves when life returns to normal. Sadness can be interrupted and relieved in many ways: good cries, venting to compassionate listeners, distractions of work and routines, exercise, moments of pleasure.


When we are depressed, we tend to punish ourselves. We might eat or drink too much, verbally and mentally abuse ourselves, or deny ourselves the ability or willingness to experience joy or love.

Sadness causes us to reflect on our lives. It is in this self-reflection that we find ways to heal our hearts and move through events, rather than getting stuck in the vicious cycles of futile thinking.


Depression can feel hopeless and consuming; and may result in suicidal behaviors and thoughts. If you find yourself considering suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.

When we are sad, we can still have hope. We are able to remember that there is more to us than our sadness. We know that life is made up of ebbs and flows and that, this too shall pass.

Numbness/Strong feelings

When we are depressed, we become numb to the world around us. We find it difficult to feel anything other than pain. Life becomes so intense that we numb ourselves to all feeling rather than risk more pain.

With sadness, we feel strongly! Joy and pleasure can still find their way into our hearts and minds, as can love, laughter, and the knowledge that we are capable of our full range of emotion and feeling.

Depression and sadness both can take a toll on our emotional well-being. But if we can differentiate between the two, we can find hope in our recovery. To learn more about how to help yourself traverse this terrain, please click here. There you will find tools to help you heal and return to the life you desire.

Back to the top



I'm very private and it is important to me that issues I talk about are confidential. Is my confidentiality completely protected?

Yes. By law I am bound to protect your confidentiality. The exceptions to this are related to child or elder abuse or a threat to harm another person. If you want to use a third party payer to pay for therapy it will be necessary to provide the information required by your insurance company which will likely include a diagnosis. If this is the case I will discuss with you what is disclosed to an insurer.

I am passionate about working with people to cultivate positive relationships with themselves because I believe this is the cornerstone to living a life that is meaningful and true to our unique natures.

I bring over 30 years of experience as a therapist, a background in theatre, a deep interest in spiritual development, a love of humor, a curious nature, a compassionate heart and a deep regard for honesty - even if I find it challenging or disturbing. While I enjoy learning new approaches and current thinking in my field, I don't much follow the theoretical maps that once informed my work; instead as I carefully listen to you I allow myself to be guided by my instincts, intellect, body and heart - not necessarily in that order!

© 2021 Santa Rosa Therapy & Counseling | Junelle Barrett Porter, MFT | All Rights Reserved | 1212 College Avenue - Santa Rosa, CA 95404